What to Do???

I woke up this morning in the worst mood. It all started when I decided to weigh myself and I realized that I have now hit the "25 lb. mark." Not in a good way I might add. About two years ago I got really serious about getting in shape and losing weight. I was playing volleyball and loving it. I lost almost 60 lbs after having Troy and had gotten down to what I weighed when I got married. Life was good. Then in July of 2008 Kamber died and our world was turned upside down. I kept plugging along the best I could and by Christmas of of that year, I was a "wreck." This was the first Christmas without Kamber and I was really struggling with it. I had locked myself in a room on Christmas Eve trying to get everything wrapped in time and I just sobbed and sobbed. I had such terrible anxiety with a few panic attacks mixed in all day long. It was a really dark time for me.

The day after Christmas I called my doctor and luckily got an appointment which happened to be on a Saturday. I sat and cried for an hour and she said that it is no wonder I feel the way I do considering what our family has been through. She got me on some medication to help me deal with the stress and I seemed to get better. As the year went on things really did get better and I was finally able to get a handle on my life again.

Halfway through last year I started to notice that I was gaining weight again as a result to the medication I was taking. I was more hungry and I think that certain kinds of medications mess with you like that. I went back to the doctor and she put me on a different medication to try to help with the weight gain. It has been six months since then and I am still gaining. I know that I don't want to go back to the "hell" that I was in a year ago but it is so depressing to not be able to lose weight. I guess this is a "pick your poison" kind of situation. I know that I should be more grateful for the positives in my life but it so hard to not be discouraged.