Tuesday, August 19, 2008
The Struggles Continue
Today Troy accidentally pushed the button that turned on Kamber's video. At first, I did not want to watch it because I knew that I would just start crying, but somehow I found myself drawn to it. Seeing all of the pictures of her reminds me of just how beautiful and special she is. Listening to the music, especially the last song that talks about her being "the brave, the strong, the faithful one" and that it is time for her to"come take her place" brought tears to my eyes. Her place is here on earth with her family. Why does Heavenly Father need her back home with him? We need her here. It just doesn't seem real that she is gone. Life is not the same without her. There is a hole in our family where Kamber should be. We all talk and express our feelings of sadness and anger and all of the different battles each one us is dealing with and then somehow we come to the same conclusion. We came to earth knowing what was going to happen to us, what we were going to have to deal with. We just find it really hard to believe that we would agree to this. Losing Kamber has been so hard and I just keep wondering "will it ever get easier?"
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2 comments:
My mom keeps reminding me that not only did we agree to come to Earth knowing the struggles we would have, but we "shouted for joy" to be given the chance to prove ourselves worthy to return! I'm not sure I understood how hard this all would be when I signed up. What about you??
I was promised that the anger and hurt will go away with time. A close friend lost his 2 year old and said that eventually it is replace with acceptance. The hole in your family, however, will not be filled in until everyone is reunited again.
I love you and wish I could make the hurt go away. Pray, pray, and pray some more. Eventually, you will be comforted enough to make it through each day! Call if you ever need to talk, or vent, or cry, or yell! I'll do anything I can for you!
i'm right there with you mindi. its no incredible to be with spencer again that i feel so guilty having a greiving moment. but i truly cant help it. i just finished reading jens blog about kamber and there i go again... tears come crashing down. and i watch spencer struggle with it in his own way. he has a lot of repairing to do because he didnt get the closeness with kamber and the family that we all experienced. after i read kambers blog i read the scriptures and i felt this huge amount of hope that what we learn in church is true and that our little kamber is making so many people giggle and smile. and one day we will be there with her and she will be the same sweet and beautiful little girl that we remembered.
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